LIFE…you young guy folk and older people in my life teach me so much. I see the younger ones begin a journey and it makes me realize that as much as I may be at a midpoint in life, my journey is no less advanced or near a perceivable end.
We start and almost never cease to ask ourselves so many different questions along the way: who am I ? what am I ? how do I define myself ? what do I love ? who do I love ? who loves me ? am I good enough ? what do I want to be ? where do I want to go ? to live ? to work ? what do I want ? who do I want ? am I right for this job ? person ? is this safe for me ? consistent with my values ? do I have what it takes ? what should be the ultimate barometer of success ? happiness ? Is there a universal standard of being ? what should be my standard ? how much giving is enough ? to whom ? for how long ? how much will make me happy ? what do I care ? and Where do my responsibilities to myself and others begin ? Where do they end ? What is left for a greater power ? Is there a greater power ? A God ? Will I be taken care of in the end ? my loved one ? and so forth and so on..
The one thing I have learned and which I still struggle with, is that I usually grow unhappy and discontented when I compare my life to the way I think it should be instead of comparing it to the way it was. If I can see where I am relative to the past. I have gratitude. If I look forward, I am unsettled and begin to fall prey to projective fear…which by definition, is false because it is about something that has not happened and is therefore untrue. Today’s lesson, each day try to learn honesty, humility and patience. These aren’t static accomplishments or attainments…they are daily process and practice. And there is no way to “work” or “succeed” or begin a process of “self-improvement” that will lead to a feeling of grace. Grace is something that will come over you, its a concrete and tangible feeling…for some ephemeral for others, it seems to be in everything they feel and others they touch. Are we being summoned? Must we decide ? Choose happiness ? What are my limits ? Is 44 too old for a tattoo and a Ducati?
Leave the bitter pills in the medicine cabinet and start chewing on sweet today. I’ll try to do the same.
